PSA: Colonoscopies can be fun!

Shit, I know some of you older folks don’t like getting colonoscopies. But they’ve become something I look forward to. One of my best friends died of cancer, in part because he didn’t get a colonoscopy in time, so this is personal for me. But I’ve learned to like starving (and losing weight) for a day.

Yeah, the crap you have to drink is disgusting, but the procedure itself is incredibly fun.

The drug they put you on — Michael Jackson was addicted to it, and I can see why — is incredible. As I was going under I felt this incredible existential relief. I was losing consciousness and loving it. For a while, I felt like I was a cookie. Not that I was eating a cookie, which is nice enough, but that I WAS a cookie. A big happy chocolate chip motherclucker of a cookie.

Do you want to know what I ate when I came to?

Yeah I spoiled myself good.