Five Days in a Real Democracy Eating Shitloads of Cheese

Authoritarian kakistocracies are only fun for so long, and so I decided to hightail it to Europe’s most adorable northern country, Iceland. There was plenty of the stuff I expected, waterfalls and rainbows and northern lights.

But the stuff I loved the most was this slightly sour yogurt called skyr and the super-aged sheep milk cheese called feykir!!!!! I ate so much of both of them I gained 5 pounds, about the same weight I lost on that horrific meatball cruise I did for the Atlantic.

Look at the photo at the top. That’s 1000-day aged feykir cheese inside some goddamned endives at the Tides restaurant in Reykjavik.

Now I’m in some restaurant specializing in tomatoes next to a volcano or something, and I’m about to eat not just feykir, but all the cheese this adorable island of tall people has to offer.

I started the morning with skyr and fruits.

I ended it with skyr meringue.

Democracy is nice, and we may never have one again on this side of the Atlantic, but this whole Lifestyle of Cheese made me think and fart differently. Now my dream is for the University of Iceland to invite me back (business class, please) to deliver some pointless lecture. At heart, I’m an Icelander.