Is this the best sandwich in America?

Plus: Practicing My Penis Play in the Midwest

If it ain’t the best, it’s damn near close. Yes this is the Rueben at Zingerman’s Deli in Ann Arbor, Michigan, the home of a famous university whose name now escapes me.

Why is it so good? Ok, the corned beef is exceptional, but it’s also the texture of the slaw, crunchy and full of flavor. And this is no-drop slaw, the kind that lets you eat the sandwich without wiping your fingers. Also, Zingerman’s makes its own goddamn bread. I’m not crying, you’re crying. Look, I want to leave space for Montreal’s Schwartz’s for its smoked meat, but this is up there, folks.

Also, while at the famous university, I delivered a lecture at the Jewish Studies department that included part of my penis-play-in-progress, i.e. the one-man version of my New Yorker botched circumcision article:

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=shteyngart+new+yorker&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

And I think it went pretty well. I even did the voice of the Hasid who convinced my folks to get me snipped and I don’t think anyone was offended. Mazel Tov to me and my schlong, I guess.

Oh, and went a little overboard on the drinks: 16 instead of the prescribed 14 per week. Gotta do better this week, although it’s the Succession premiere and some very rowdy dinners coming up. Later, beloved readers.