Hi Gary - thought you'd get a kick out of this story. I got my MFA in Fiction at Hunter about a decade ago - once we'd been invited to a party for some literary event and Jeffrey Eugenides was there. I ran into him outside while smoking a cigarette and told him that I loved his novel, "The Russian Debutante's Handbook," and went on about it for a little bit before looking up. He stared me down with disgust, snubbed out his freshly lit cigarette, and said "It's getting cold out here," before turning on his heel to walk back inside. This was years ago, but I wanted to let you know because I doubt he passed the information forward.
Wow, you have really peaked my interest in your thoughts on starting a cult. I just have one issue and that is calling it a cult. Let’s pull out the thesaurus and choose another word? How about “sect” or “ clique?” I would offer the word “clan” but…well that has such a bad history in our society, especially if you spell it with a “K” followed by two more!😂 I also like the cocktail aspect, the sash award or maybe a martini glass trophy?🤷🏽♀️🍸 however, no rules! Let it just be a bunch of drunk intellectuals running around in a “non-sexual”(good luck with that) atmosphere finally letting their uptightness fade into the sunset of the beautiful countryside!
Actually, Gary I think you are on to something, although some would call it a writers retreat!🤭
If your cult involves you dressing up like Jesus Christ (No one really knows what he looked like probably not the blonde haired blue eyed depiction), I am going to have to pass.
Have you ever slipped anyone LSD?
Have you ever sold Mary Jane ? Okay I will let that one pass.
Is it difficult to turn things that really happened into fictional accounts that no really cares about or reads?
I am too poor to travel. Maybe you will continue to put up with my lousy comments.
You’ll need to figure out if you are to be worshipped as a god, or if you are just a messenger of a god. If you are a god you should develop a complex hierarchy of gods to which you followers can aspire to.
i'm trying not to go down the path of most cults by making myself a deity. if you buy me a nice watch i will accept with a heavy heart, but i'm not god.
This sounds like a lot of work and as one of Gary’s possible acolytes, I think this task might be delegated. So I’m gonna have to pass on this one for now. For now.
I enjoyed your article wondering if you should start a cult. Together with many readers’ comments, it provoked more than a few chortles. Though I can’t gift you a collector-quality timepiece ( I’m more of a Casio Forester-type guy) I do want to mention you have an opportunity staring at you.
Yes, creating a cult is brilliant but unworkable and absurdist notions aside, how about a real non-profit cult that challenges prevailing beliefs which are hurtful or just plain wrong (ie. Christianity or Zoroastrianism or even Putinism?
Oct 24, 2022·edited Oct 24, 2022Liked by Gary Shteyngart
Wait, I thought you were already a cult, albeit one with shaky infrastructure. Anyhow, forget Albany-- go for Kinderhook, the ancestral home of Martin van Buren. It's closer to you, and also he was in his career (wait for it) President, Vice President, Secretary of State, and Governor of New York.: lots for you to shoot for! He had terrific side-whiskers and was the head honcho of the Albany political machine, known as the "Albany Regency." Only downside is that he ran for Prez again in 1848 on the Free Soil Party ticket and not on the ticket of the Know-Nothing Party (former Prez Millard Fillmore did). GS and the Know-Nothings has a great ring to it!
Oct 24, 2022·edited Oct 24, 2022Liked by Gary Shteyngart
This has nothing to do with anything, but it's been smelling up my various inboxes, so like the proverbial hot latke I feel a need to pass it on https://www.tulipcremation.com/root/pricing.html. Welcome to Hell, pal
Rule #2: No Apple watches.
hell yeah!
What??!? Ok, you’re getting a sundial. Gotta go old school for some street cred
And if you give me any guffin you’re getting a rock and a stick. DIY
No digital watches?
Or is vintage red LED ok?
We have to consult The Schteyngart for a ruling!
Hi Gary - thought you'd get a kick out of this story. I got my MFA in Fiction at Hunter about a decade ago - once we'd been invited to a party for some literary event and Jeffrey Eugenides was there. I ran into him outside while smoking a cigarette and told him that I loved his novel, "The Russian Debutante's Handbook," and went on about it for a little bit before looking up. He stared me down with disgust, snubbed out his freshly lit cigarette, and said "It's getting cold out here," before turning on his heel to walk back inside. This was years ago, but I wanted to let you know because I doubt he passed the information forward.
HA!!!!!
You should also tell Jeffrey Eugenides how much you enjoyed Absurdistan!
Wow, you have really peaked my interest in your thoughts on starting a cult. I just have one issue and that is calling it a cult. Let’s pull out the thesaurus and choose another word? How about “sect” or “ clique?” I would offer the word “clan” but…well that has such a bad history in our society, especially if you spell it with a “K” followed by two more!😂 I also like the cocktail aspect, the sash award or maybe a martini glass trophy?🤷🏽♀️🍸 however, no rules! Let it just be a bunch of drunk intellectuals running around in a “non-sexual”(good luck with that) atmosphere finally letting their uptightness fade into the sunset of the beautiful countryside!
Actually, Gary I think you are on to something, although some would call it a writers retreat!🤭
it's yaddo and cult all mixed together
If your cult involves you dressing up like Jesus Christ (No one really knows what he looked like probably not the blonde haired blue eyed depiction), I am going to have to pass.
Have you ever slipped anyone LSD?
Have you ever sold Mary Jane ? Okay I will let that one pass.
Is it difficult to turn things that really happened into fictional accounts that no really cares about or reads?
I am too poor to travel. Maybe you will continue to put up with my lousy comments.
travel? my cult is either in your heart or not. in either case, send money.
Isn't that what the book's about? The dynamics of your fetal cult which was to be organized around awe and envy for your Garyhood?
You’re going on have to come up with a better name for your cult. Let me contemplate upon it
You’ll need to figure out if you are to be worshipped as a god, or if you are just a messenger of a god. If you are a god you should develop a complex hierarchy of gods to which you followers can aspire to.
i'm trying not to go down the path of most cults by making myself a deity. if you buy me a nice watch i will accept with a heavy heart, but i'm not god.
Piaget or Apple?
neither?
ok I'll keep the piaget and we can use the Apple as an alarm clock for my cat
This sounds like a lot of work and as one of Gary’s possible acolytes, I think this task might be delegated. So I’m gonna have to pass on this one for now. For now.
we will never stop trying to get you to join
I enjoyed your article wondering if you should start a cult. Together with many readers’ comments, it provoked more than a few chortles. Though I can’t gift you a collector-quality timepiece ( I’m more of a Casio Forester-type guy) I do want to mention you have an opportunity staring at you.
Yes, creating a cult is brilliant but unworkable and absurdist notions aside, how about a real non-profit cult that challenges prevailing beliefs which are hurtful or just plain wrong (ie. Christianity or Zoroastrianism or even Putinism?
yes! this won't just be a cult it'll be a cultmunity
I sure sang hallelujahs aplenty when i passed my latest kidney stone!
My dad used to say that there are only two sure ways of having a million dollars:
1: invest two million on the stock market
or
2: start a cult
Wait, I thought you were already a cult, albeit one with shaky infrastructure. Anyhow, forget Albany-- go for Kinderhook, the ancestral home of Martin van Buren. It's closer to you, and also he was in his career (wait for it) President, Vice President, Secretary of State, and Governor of New York.: lots for you to shoot for! He had terrific side-whiskers and was the head honcho of the Albany political machine, known as the "Albany Regency." Only downside is that he ran for Prez again in 1848 on the Free Soil Party ticket and not on the ticket of the Know-Nothing Party (former Prez Millard Fillmore did). GS and the Know-Nothings has a great ring to it!
story checks out
This has nothing to do with anything, but it's been smelling up my various inboxes, so like the proverbial hot latke I feel a need to pass it on https://www.tulipcremation.com/root/pricing.html. Welcome to Hell, pal
If there are watches and cocktails involved, count me in!
we shall
Funniest line from your latest missive: “I’m not a huge reader”.
Is that the SLGH005 white birch on the wrist? If so, any thoughts on its accuracy? Mine is about +10s per day.
it as plus 10. i sent it back. now it's plus 7.
Good idea. Virtual badges? Cheap and addictive. See, e.g., Peloton
interesting. but i want people to show off their accomplishments irl, too.
I’m reading the comments section on the toilet. I think my accomplishment speaks for itself
Circumcisions, yes or no?
nah
I’m on board. Would there be a pin badge, so we can recognise each other?